As writers, we often imagine our ideas will arrive in one big sweep of inspiration. A lightning bolt. A sudden download. A miraculous moment when the whole book appears in our minds at once. But the truth is far gentler and far more ordinary. Most books begin quietly. They begin in the conversations we overhear, the questions we keep answering, the problems people repeatedly bring to us, and the little patterns that start weaving themselves into our daily lives.
If you are an author, or hope to become one, this is the heart of it. Pay attention to what keeps coming up. True writing opportunities are far less about chasing trends and far more about noticing the needs that never go away. They sit in plain sight, waiting patiently for someone to give them shape, language and love.
For me, that someone was Noah.
You may have seen him on my Instagram recently, proudly balancing a potty on his head like it is the most natural hat in the world. That picture captures everything you need to know about him. Noah is curious, innocent, humorous, expressive, emotional and unfiltered. He is the toddler voice that so many parents wished they could hear. And he became the narrator of my new book The Only Potty-Training Book Mum Will Ever Need, Told by a Toddler Who is Learning Too because real families kept asking the same questions, over and over again.
I never set out to write a potty-training book from a toddler’s perspective. In fact, if you had asked me a few years ago what my next book would be, this idea would never have crossed my mind. But the more time I spent in my early years work, the more I noticed a pattern. Parents were struggling not because their children were failing, but because they did not understand what was happening inside those little bodies and even smaller emotional worlds. I saw mums and dads blaming themselves. I saw childminders feeling lost. I saw social media threads full of quiet panic, guilt, confusion and total exhaustion. The questions were endless. The advice was inconsistent. The anxiety was spreading.
And then the guidelines changed (more on that in my next blog article!)
Suddenly parents were even more unsure. Should they start early. Should they wait. Should they avoid nappies. Should they use pull ups. Should they use rewards. Should they not. Every post, every comment, every whispered question at the school gates reminded me that this was not just a parenting problem. It was an emotional problem. A confidence problem. A connection problem. And a communication problem. All wrapped into one surprisingly small plastic potty.
Every Story Needs a Character
This is where writing begins. Not in the loud moments, but in the moments when you find yourself thinking, I keep hearing this. Someone needs to say something. Someone needs to help. And eventually, the thought changes in a very important way. It becomes, maybe that someone is me.
Noah slowly stepped forward in my imagination. Not as a gimmick, but as a guide. A child who could say the things real toddlers cannot articulate yet. He could describe the wobbly feelings, the confusion, the sensory overwhelm, the pride, the frustration, the funny bits and the fears. He could speak for the children I had worked with for over twenty years. He could be the bridge between adult logic and toddler reality.
And so, he became the voice of the book.
This is the beautiful part about writing from real life. Characters walk in when you finally understand the role they are meant to play. They arrive because a story needs them. They appear because someone in the real world has been silently waiting for them. Noah became that voice for thousands of parents who wanted reassurance, not perfection. He brought tenderness and humour to a process that often feels stressful and mechanical. He softened the edges of an experience that has been misunderstood for generations.
And this is why I believe writers should look closely at their own world. Your next book may not come from a brainstorm or a writing retreat. It may come from the questions clients ask you daily. It may come from the struggles parents share in your inbox. It may come from the problems your friends face but cannot find answers to. It may come from the quiet conversations you have in your kitchen while making tea. Real life is not a distraction from your writing. It is your greatest writing partner.
The Clues in the Social (Media)
For years I have watched childminders, early years practitioners and fellow parents posting in social groups asking for help with potty training. The same worries appeared daily. The same confusion. The same tears. The same pressure. And I kept thinking, there should be a book that addresses a childcare professional, parent and child together. A book that calms the nervous systems of everyone involved in potty training.
A book that makes people laugh again. A book that turns shame into compassion and frustration into understanding. A book that feels like a deep breath.
So, I wrote it.
And that is the gift of paying attention, not just as a writer, but as a human being. When you notice the needs around you, your writing becomes service rather than performance. It becomes connection rather than content. It becomes useful, healing, meaningful and valued. Writers are often searching for original ideas, when in truth the world is asking us for something much more grounded. People want to feel seen. They want to feel understood. They want their daily struggles acknowledged and soothed. Writing from real life allows you to step directly into that space.
Noah’s role in the book is to reflect the emotional truth of potty learning. My role was to translate the wisdom I have gained over two decades into something warm, accessible and supportive. Together we created a little guide that has already begun helping parents and professionals feel calmer and more confident. And that is all any writer can hope for, to write something that matters to the people who need it.
So, if you are a writer, or longing to be one, here is my gentle invitation. Look around your everyday life with curiosity. What do people ask you most often. What advice do you repeat without realising. What frustrations keep cropping up. What problems are people facing that you understand well. That is where your next book is hiding. Not in perfection, but in patterns. Not in genius, but in generosity.
Stories are woven from real lives, real conversations and real needs. Mine arrived in the shape of a little boy with a potty on his head. Yours may look very different, but it will be just as meaningful.
Your work is already speaking to you. All you need to do is listen.
Happy Writing
Much Love, Em x
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