You Come First



It's a tried and tested routine that I've been using to help parents  prevent Parental Burnout and guide children over the past 20 years.


Most parenting problems are simply down to a lack of clear and consistent rules and routines. Yet these are your keys to FREEDOM.

You wouldn't build a house without a blueprint to follow, so why would building happy, healthy children be left to luck? 

And why put all that pressure on yourself to wing it?

When starting out as first time mums, we're not trying to reinvent the wheel. If there's a proven way that can guide you, gleaned from the knowledge, expertise and experience of billions of mums before you, why not follow that?

The U URSELF Routine is one routine that covers seven different areas. These are all  co-dependant on one another. To help you  remember the seven parts of the routine, below is a  mnemonic to remind you of each one, using the words ‘You Yourself’ abbreviated, and spelt U URSELF. 

  1. U = U time
  2. U = Us time
  3. R = Recreation
  4. S = Sleep
  5. E = Esteem
  6. L = Love
  7. F = Food


Together these are The U URSELF Routine.  They're a perfect guide of what every child needs, and why, to be happy, healthy, and successful. Following this routine will help you to plan and prepare your child's day and trouble shoot any issues.

One area depends on another, so even if your child has a consistent  bedtime routine,  if you don't also look at your child's recreational and eating habits too, that'll affect their behaviour.

Like a missing piece of the puzzle, leaving out one area will fail to give you the complete picture. All the pieces or parts of the routine need to be tackled at the same time.

We all do it. We focus on an area we feel is the problem and focus on that one area, failing to find a solution to our children's unwanted behaviour.

That’s because you need to include your children’s habits in all areas, even the ones you're happy with that cause no issues.

They may be a good eater, but what are they eating and when?

Eating habits and nutrition can all affect their quality of sleep and cause sleep problems.

Who Cares for YOU If You Don’t?

U Time comes first in the U URSELF Routine because ‘You’ are the most important part of the routine and the most important person in your child’s life.

All the routines and rules in the world won’t make a difference, unless you yourself, are in a good place to carry them out ) hence the ‘You Yourself’ or ‘U URSELF Routine’).

Your child will challenge your rules and routines and that’s normal. That can be exhausting for you. Often,  the easiest option seems to give in. But you have to remain strong when they rebel or they will be in control.

Your child's health and happiness relies on you to take the lead, so your health and well -being are vitally important.

U Time is exactly that—time for ‘You.’

To build that inner strength and confidence you need to coach, teach and guide your child. And to nurture yourself.

As mum's it's common for us to neglect our own health when we’re busy. The only time we really appreciate our health is when we’re unwell or unable to function. Our lack of health and well-ness then takes center stage.

Its time to appreciate your wonderful body and mind, and stop apologizing  for taking a break  or doing something for yourself.  It’s okay to take good care of you and do the things you enjoy, without feeling guilty.

Self-care should be your priority foremost.

I mean, who cares for YOU if you don’t?

Life has a funny way of slowing us down and making us conscious.

This can come as a physical illness, an unexpected accident, or burnout.

Feeling your body’s discomfort and not being able to do what you want, is the surest sign from Life, it’s time to slow down and reassess.

Life challenges you to take time and space to think and reflect on those habits you rarely, if ever, notice.

Mumatherapy offers courses, programs and 1:1 parent coaching,  to help you prevent parental burnout and unhelpful or unhealthy habits. Using meditation and hypnosis to help you relax and restore. The much awaited, on-line, guided meditation course- From Burnout to Being, helps busy mum's on the verge of Parental Burnout to rebalance and reset. There can be no better use of your time than that.

Even the most outgoing and sociable amongst us, need some alone time to plan, ponder, reflect, and recuperate.

But you needn’t wait until you’re forced, or it’s too late!

‘U Time’ should be an everyday, self-care, priority.

Self-care means

sleeping well

eating healthily





Spending time with loved ones, and doing things you enjoy.

Not just a soak in a bubble bath!



If you’ve ever flown on an aeroplane, you’ll be familiar with the safety drill, put on your own safety vest and masks before your children’s.

Taking care of ‘You’ is a priority because if you don’t, then you won’t be able to care for your child or anyone else. Yet many selfless mum's put the needs of others, especially their children’s, before their own.

You are not being selfish by taking care of your own needs before anyone else’s. It’s essential. If you don’t, you’ll burnout.

A happy parent equals a happy child.

Never neglect or underestimate the importance of time for yourself.

You can read more about The U URSELF Routine in,  The Confident Parent’s Guide to Raising a Happy, Healthy & Successful Child and The Powerful Proactive Parent’s Guide to Present Parenting.

You can find both books from all good book retailers worldwide including Amazon, in paperback, audiobook, Kindle, Audible and iTunes versions.


Further Reading