You Come First

What is The U URSELF ROUTINE?

 

The U URSELF Routine is a routine I use with parents to prevent Parental Burnout.

 

A lot of the daily issues parents face are down to a lack of clear and consistent rules and routines.

The U URSELF Routine is one routine that comprises seven different, yet co-dependant aspects. In order for you to remember the seven aspects of the routine, below is a useful mnemonic to help you, using the words ‘You Yourself’ abbreviated, and spelt U URSELF. These combined are the U URSELF routine.

1. U = U time
2. U = Us time
3. R = Recreation
4. S = Sleep
5. E = Esteem
6. L = Love
7. F = Food

 

Those seven separate, yet co-dependent, routines combine into one solid tried and tested routine. They offer an outline of what every child needs, and why, to be happy, healthy, and successful.

One area depends on another, so you must address your children’s sleep problems to deal with their behavioural issues. Each aspect of your children’s lives affects one another. No point addressing your child’s sleeping habits if you don’t look at their exercise habits too. And like a missing piece of the puzzle, leaving out one area will fail to give you the complete picture. All the pieces or parts of the routine need to be addressed at the same time.

We all do it. We focus on an area we feel is the problem and tackle that area head-on but cannot find the solution.

That’s because you need to encompass your children’s habits in all areas, even those areas you’re happy with that cause your child no issues.

They may be a good eater, but what are they eating and when?

This can all affect their quality of sleep and be an underlying cause of their sleep problems.

 Who Cares for YOU If You Don’t?

U Time comes first in the U URSELF Routine because ‘You’ are the most important part of the routine and the most important person in your child’s life.

And all the routines and rules in the world won’t make a difference, unless you yourself, are in a good place to carry them out ) hence the ‘You Yourself’ or ‘U URSELF Routine’).

Your child will challenge your rules and routines and that’s normal. That can be exhausting for you and often the easier option seems to give in. But you have to remain strong when they do or they will be in control of you.

Your child relies on you, so your health and well -being are vitally important.

U Time is exactly that—time for ‘You.’

To build that inner strength and confidence you need to coach, teach and guide your child. And to nurture yourself.

We neglect our health when we’re busy, and only appreciate it when we’re unwell or unable to function. Mums often apologise for taking a break from helping others or doing something for themselves, but it’s okay to do so without feeling guilty.

Self-care should be your priority foremost.

I mean, who cares for YOU if you don’t?

Life has a funny way of slowing us down and making us conscious.

This can come as a physical illness, an unexpected accident, or burnout.

Feeling your body’s discomfort and not being able to do what you want, is the surest sign from Life that it’s time to slow down and reassess.

Life challenges you to take time and space to think and reflect on those habits you rarely, if ever, notice.

Mumatherapy offers courses to prevent parental burnout and change habits and  thought patterns using meditation and hypnosis. The course From Burnout to Being helps busy mum's on the verge of Parental Burnout to relax and reset. There can be no better use of your time than that.

We all need time out now and again to restore and reset. Even the most gregarious amongst us need some alone time to plan, ponder, reflect, and recuperate.

But you needn’t wait until you’re forced, or it’s too late!

‘U Time’ should be an everyday self-care priority.

Self-care means

sleeping well

eating healthily

exercising

meditating

learning

laughing

Spending time with loved ones, and doing things you enjoy.

Something my own life was telling me to get back into alignment with, but I hadn’t been listening to while I was busy chasing my goals.

   WHO CARES FOR YOUR CHILD IF YOU CAN’T?

If you’ve ever flown on an aeroplane, you’ll be familiar with the safety drill where you’re told to put on your own safety vest and masks before your children’s.

Taking care of ‘You’ is a priority because if you don’t, then you won’t be able to care for your child or anyone else. Yet many selfless parents still think it’s okay to put the needs of others, especially their children’s, before their own.

You are not being selfish by taking care of your own needs before anyone else’s. It’s essential. If you don’t eventually, you’ll burnout.

Caring for yourself leads to a positive impact on both your and your children’s happiness, health, and success.

A happy parent equals a happy child.

Never neglect or underestimate the importance of time for yourself.

I urge mums to never skip this vital part of the routine. If you don’t take time for yourself, how can you expect your children to do the same?

You can read more about The UURSELF Routine in my books, The Confident Parent’s Guide to Raising a Happy, Healthy & Successful Child and The Powerful Proactive Parent’s Guide to Present Parenting.

You can find both books in paperback and on Amazon as audiobooks in Kindle, Audible and iTunes versions, available worldwide.

Further Reading