We’re already in October—the shiny new lunchbox has lost its sparkle, the water bottle has gone missing, and reality has set in. Early mornings, endless instructions, and the daily routine are back in full swing. Even if your child skipped happily into school on day one, regression may now have crept in. Tears at the school gates, Oscar-worthy tantrums (always when you’re running late, of course!)—it’s enough to test anyone’s patience. So how can you help your child manage those big feelings while staying emotionally steady yourself?
Building Emotional Resilience
Resilience is a big part of school readiness. It’s about persevering with tasks and bouncing back when things get tricky. When children feel loved at home, supported by adults outside the family, and have secure routines, they cope better with everyday ups and downs.
Your own behaviour also matters. What message does your child get if you carry them to the school gate, smother them with hugs, and whisper apologetically, “Mummy won’t be long”? Your tension naturally transfers to them.
Children’s thoughts shape how they feel, which then creates physical sensations in their bodies like nervous tummies or excited butterflies that drive behaviour. If you want to change their behaviour, start with your own. Stay calm and confident.
Help your child tune into what they’re feeling. If they say their tummy hurts, it might be anxiety. Gently ask, “Does your tummy feel funny? It’s okay to feel nervous. I get that way before work sometimes too, but everything will be okay.”
This builds a bridge between physical sensations and emotions. The more you do this, the more they’ll understand and communicate their feelings. And remember: show empathy, not sympathy.
-
Empathy says: “I know how you’re feeling, and it’s okay to feel that way, but you’re safe.”
-
Sympathy says: “You’re right to feel afraid, school is scary.” (which can actually feed fear).
Growing Independence
There are things our children have to learn themselves. We can’t take their exams, fix their first heartbreak, or fight their battles. But we can encourage independence with everyday tasks—tying shoelaces, putting on coats, saving pocket money, tidying toys, doing homework.
These small habits build a ‘can do’ attitude and persistence when life gets tough. Encourage your child to take responsibility for their school bag, water bottle, shoes, and coat. Try not to step in, even when you’re in a rush—it’s worth letting them practise.
Shoes on the wrong feet? They’ll get it right eventually.
At home, teaching basics like wiping after the toilet, washing hands properly, and using cutlery also sets your child up for school success. These skills not only build confidence but help children feel secure enough to ask other grown-ups for help when needed.
Social Skills and Patience
Patience, sharing, and cooperation are just as important as independence. When I do crafts with children in my care, I don’t give everyone their own scissors or glue. Learning to wait, take turns, and share with others develops empathy and teamwork.
When it comes to coaching behaviour, traditional time-outs rarely work. Children benefit more from space to reflect with an adult nearby for support during big, scary feelings. Stay calm, be present, and notice what they’re doing well—praise goes a long way.
And don’t forget: your body language, words, and calm presence always set the tone.
Early Support Matters
If you ever worry about delays in your child's development, whether in speech, motor skills, focus, or social interactions reach out early to a health visitor, childminder, or GP. Early support makes a huge difference.
For families with additional needs, there are resources and strategies to help prepare you, your child, and their educational setting, ensuring a smoother transition and setting them up for success, visit -
Additional learning needs in Wales - Sense
https://startingreception.co.uk
https://www.familylives.org.uk
https://speechandlanguage.org.uk
Want more tips? You can read the full article in the Autumn 2025 issue of Mums & Tots magazine, on sale now.
Much love, Em x
By Emma Grant – Author, Hypnotherapist, Nutritional Therapist, Parenting Coach & Founder of Mumatherapy® and Happy Childcare
Stay connected & join our Newsletter Mumatherapy Motivations for working mums in need of some weekly motivation with tips & Support.
RELAX, RESTORE & RESET!
Download your free Mumatherapy Muma Got Goals Free Goal Book & Easily Achieve Your Goals
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.
